Reorganization

One thing that I keep hearing over and over again is "Do what you love". Especially the Americans seem to love that concept and they seem to have infected the notion to a lot of Europeans, too. Oh what a load of crap! This is a perfect medicine for unhappiness. For example, say you love singing. Go on to the Idols show and demonstrate everyone how wrong you are. You'll end up on the comical section where they play the worst contestants, the infinitely untalented and disgusting singers. Trust me. 10 million people will see that and laugh at you, not with you. Imagine how you would feel after that. Is the word happy anywhere among the top feelings after that? No. Feelings of being disillusioned, feelings of anger, frustration, and failure probably dominate over happiness.

I know I'm playing the devils advocate here, but my point is that everyone are not super-talented. Everyone cannot be pop-stars, astronauts, actors, professional athletes, self-made millionaires, artists or presidents. Everyone cannot reach their dream. That is just not realistic. Still, we have to be happy. So if the only way to become happy is to fulfill your dream, then most people will be unhappy. I hate it when that happens. And it does happen all the time. People are unhappy.

All this even though the solution is simple. Just reorganize the words in your head. Do not say "Do what you love" but "Love what you do". Plain obvious that it is a difficult task. But then who said that success would come easy. Of course it is difficult. Happiness requires effort. Happiness requires constant work.

Realistically, it is easy to say "Love what you do" but how do you get there? First of all, be around people who love what they do, associate yourself with them, be friends with them. Excitement is contagious. When other people get excited about something, let yourself get excited about that thing too. Lot's of people are scared that other people will think they are fools if they get excited about something, if they allow themselves to be influenced by somebody else. Ask yourself, are you afraid that the other people will think you are a happy person? Other people do not want you to be happy, they want people to be just the way they've always been, because it's safer that way. If you change, then perhaps also they would have to change, and that's scary. But if you want to achieve something that you haven't done before, you have to do something that you haven't done before. And that is exactly why you should surround yourself with happy people.

The source of many people's unhappiness is their work. They feel like they are not utilizing their full potential at their current work. So, look for a new job. But meanwhile, while your looking for a new job, try to be happy at your current job. Firstly, look for that person of your colleagues who's most happy - not necessarily funny, but happy. Go to lunch with him/her, get yourself involved in a project with him/her, talk with him/her. Secondly, think about the thing you most like at your job and the thing you most hate about your job. Embrace that thing you most like. Dwell in it. Try to do it better than ever before. And that thing you hate, find one small thing that you can improve on it. Just a tiny bit. Even a small improvement makes you feel like you're in charge. You're deciding what happens with you. The next step, the next improvement is already easier and after a while it becomes a natural part of you and of your job.

I feel like people are looking for a miracle pill, a Sorcerer's stone, a lucky break that makes them happy. But it doesn't go like that. Winning the lottery, your dream job, a new education - none of them will make you happy. You can make yourself happy. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to get a new job. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to become a singer. Please do that. But finding happiness is not a lucky break. It's hard mental work. You need to want to be happy. You need to want to change your attitude. You need to change your ways. The desire to change must come from within. No outside solution makes your inside happy. You must be ready to change, brave enough to challenge your own mindset, bold enough to admit that something I'm doing or thinking needs improving. Lastly, you cannot wait until tomorrow. If you postpone it, you will not do it. You need to develop a plan for change starting from now, not in ten minutes, but now. Really. Get a life. Now.