This brings to my mind one of the most baffling recurring experiences I've had here in Germany. It concerns the attitudes to languages, and especially, the attitude Germans have to their own language. In short, living in Germany, I face great pressure to learn to communicate in German. When arriving in Germany, I was determined and motivated to learn German, but this in-your-face attitude displayed everywhere has seriously deterred my motivation.
During the first weeks here, people would approach me and start a rapid unintelligible monologue in German, giving me the chance to interrupt with a "Wie, bitte?" only when they stopped to breath. Initially I thought that they just weren't accustomed to foreign languages, but this theory is contradicted by the large number of foreigners present both at the office and around town.
Once settled, I began to hear suggestions "We should talk German, shouldn't we?", which were soon changed to "We should talk German" or "Wir sollten Deutsch sprechen". Observe the lack of options. It is not really a question that would give me any chance to choose, but it is a statement, we really should talk German. I once made the mistake of asking a good friend why we are supposed to talk German, upon which she frowned at me and answered "because we're in Germany", like I've insulted her intellect (sadly, this event made me also question the depth of our friendship). Not satisfied with the answer, I tried to inquire why it is so important to talk German, and as an answer I got a emotionally heated story about a foreigner who had not learned the language after five years in Germany. Unable to connect the logic of this story with my present situation, utterly perplexed, I did not pursue the question further at that time.
A mysterious feature of these demands is the way they are presented. Like I already noted, the demands come as statements of something obvious, something that does not deserve to be doubted. But what is more stunning is that the statement is regularly finished off with a grin. "Wir sollten Deutsch sprechen
Don't get me wrong, I do understand the motivation of the Germans. Germany is flooded with foreigners, most notably from Turkey, but also many from Eastern Europe, many of whom don't speak German. Such immigrants are often of low education, which combined with the inability to speak German is a receipt for trouble. They arrive here with hopes of improved standards of living. This can readily be seen as (a view that I don't completely share) living off the Germans, and it is thus fair to demand something from the immigrants as well, like conforming with the norms of the society.
To me, conformity requirements have a bad vibe, especially in a country like Germany. It brings back memories of some history lessons in high-school. Moreover, I have never been the one to conform with the majority unless in very rare cases when conformity has a specific purpose that I happen to agree with. Personally, I think cultural diversity is a value in itself, which is positive in all forms, with the exception that it does not go well with a low level of education and unemployment (just think about the unrest in Paris some time back).
So, when I face demands of learning German, it feels like a conformity requirement, motivated only if I am an immigrant of low education living off the German society. While I can't deny being a foreigner, I don't really see myself as an immigrant since I come from an EU-country and plan to stay only for a limited time. Immigration implies in my perception a more permanent change of country. Moreover, I definitely feel insulted if I am labelled a person of low education, which is in objective terms, a rather inaccurate label. Worse, if I am referred to as someone who lives off the well being of the German society, I take it as a rather harsh insult. Upon leaving Finland, one of my greatest two regrets (the other regret is not being with my friends and family) is that as the Finnish society invested so much in my education, I am now donating the fruits of my education and learning efforts to the Germans (for a rather low compensation salary-wise).
Finally, I think that I could take all this with a smile, if there wouldn't be for a one last thing (there's always a one last thing, isn't there?). If the Germans would be holding the moral upper ground, I can't believe I would have any objections of learning German. If, for example, most Germans would be speaking, say, five languages fluently, they would have the "right" to demand that I perfect my skills in my fourth language, indeed, I would feel it my duty to learn it no time at all. Thinking about it, it doesn't seem like a too far fetched utopia to imagine a centrally located country like Germany, where everyone would know several of the languages of the neighbouring countries. But reality is sad and I find it disturbing how few Germans speak more than two languages. Most people do hesitantly speak a few words of English (whereby their skills in English were on par with my skills in German when I arrived here), but most of the time that is about all they know.
At the end of this ramble I should decided upon a course of action. The obvious, but ill-advised action would be to protest, to attempt to not-learn German. While that is an intuitively attractive option, I find such a choice lame, too easy, an option only for the weakest of minds. My personal favourite is to continue learning German, but in addition attempt learning some other language, like French, which would be my fifth language. What better counter-insult than a straight-faced display of intellectual superiority? Ha-ha.
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I understand that learning the language is an imperative part of really integrating into a society. However, being anal about has an opposite effect as it completely isolates the foreigner from any more complex/intelligent discussions. In other words they don't only treat you like you were stupid, it also makes you live a less intelligent life until you are fluent in german.
It's also easy to understand why someone would frown at you if you clearly didn't make an effort to learn german. However, when it comes to you that clearly isn't the case, and yes, being pushy is a definitive motivation killer. Actually, this kind of reminds me of the mandatory bilingual studies in Finland, infamous for learning students to hate the mandatory second language.
I cannot help to think about the dozens of times I've helped bewildered german tourists in Helsinki. Usually we've chosen the language which enables the most effective communication, sometimes english, but quite often even my utterly pathetic german. I've always seen it as a great opportunity to practice my language skills, and as a breath of fresh air culture-wise. In this perspective it doesn't seem that fair, maybe I should try " Will sollten Finnish sprechen [grin]" instead.
Ah, yes, this is kind of the same thing as learning the second language in Finland. I hadn't thought of that - good point!
You also touched upon another point I failed to mention. For me a language is a means for communication, where communication (human to human interaction) is the important/primary concern and the language chosen only a tool. In other words, I value more persons I interact with than I value the language I use. Languages have, admittedly, also cultural value per se, but still, persons are much more interesting.
In this perspective, I think it is motivated to choose a language which does not significantly impair interaction, or at least, choose the language that impairs communication the least.
Finally, you mention integration to society. As you say, learning a language is really an imperative part of integrating into a society. But how important is integration? And how much is it in conflict with cultural diversity? Is it the same thing as conformity? I'd say that some level of integration is necessary, but that overkill is too much :) I know that topic has been much studied under the heading of something like "multi-cultural studies", but I don't know much about it.
What I meant by integration into the society was mainly non-cultural issues, that is, that the foreigner is able to work and live as a member of the society instead of isolating himself and living out of crime.
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